Welcome to the New Year

Welcome to the New Year!

Hopefully you have had a few moments to relax… and to reflect!  It is my very strong belief that no matter what has happened in the past – each new year – new day – we have the opportunity to either continue in that direction or, if we don’t like what is happening to us – change the direction!

New Year’s resolutions give us an opportunity to “resolve” and make “new.”  Here were some resolutions that I discovered as I reviewed the book, “The 10 Commitments:  Parenting with Purpose” that I’d like to share with you!

If one of these resolutions speaks to your heart, feel free to take it and use it for the New Year!

  • I resolve to help my children appreciate that there is no such thing as failure, only temporary results that they can use as feedback to determine their next step.
  • I resolve to allow my responses to my children to reflect a knowing that some lapses in self-control are developmentally appropriate.  I remember they do certain behaviors because they are 5 or 8 or 14 or 18 year olds.
  • I resolve to remember that experience can be messy.  I will allow my children to learn from the messes they make and the cleanup that follows.
  • I resolve to fix problems rather than fix blame by maintaining a solution-seeking mindset and teaching my children a problem solving process.
  • I resolve to make my approach to parenting reflect the notion that raising a child is more about drawing out what already exists in my child rather than about putting in to fill perceived deficiencies.
  • I resolve to make myself dispensable and assist my children in becoming increasingly in charge of themselves and their own lives.
  • I resolve not to teach my children to have a happy, productive life, but rather to help them choose a happy, productive day.
  • I resolve to talk less and listen more.
  • I resolve to relax, remembering that relaxing does not mean resigning.
  • I resolve to recognize that my children are in my life as much so I can learn from them as they are so they can learn from me.  I will be open to the lessons my children offer me and honor them for helping me learn and grow.

Once again, Happy New Year!  Looking forward to a FANTASTIC 2013!

Sincerely,

Christine M. Armbrust

 

November – A Time to Reflect!

November is the time of the year where we often times sit back, pause and reflect (before all the excitement of the holidays) on all the good things we have in our lives.  November is a time when we reflect on “gratitude.”

Gratitude – saying “thank you” – is one of the most powerful forces in the world.

 When we offer thanks, it allows us to be renewed, to reflect, and to reconnect.  Saying “thank you” allows us to ponder and appreciate all gifts we have been given.  My question – do we see those small gifts set before us?  Do we take the time to celebrate them… in good and bad times? 

 I believe that it could be extremely worthwhile if we keep track of all the things we have been given -perhaps in some type of journal.  Some days – when our lives are just going the way we want it to – keeping track of the things we are thankful for will be very, very easy.  Other days, the only thing we may be thankful for is that the day is over!  In either case, we will soon realize that we have much to be thankful for in our lives. 

Think if we could teach our kids – in the midst of all the activities they may be involved in – to pause and appreciate all the “gifts” they have in their lives.  Think if we could teach our kids to keep their own journal – as we keep our own.  Think of all the great conversations we could have as we discuss the items in those journals! 

You might want to think about adding these often “overlooked blessings!”:

  •  Watching a sunset… sunrise;
  • Holding your child in your arms;
  • Finding a lost pet;
  • The aroma of something delicious wafting from the kitchen;
  • Not having to cook tonight;
  • The kindness of strangers;
  • Having teachers who care about your kids;
  • Laughing so hard you can’t catch your breath and your sides ache;
  • Listening to the “oldies” and recalling happy moments;
  • Easily switching carpool days;
  • Friendship that endures and thrives despite the obstacles of time and distance;
  • Rediscovering old family photos;
  • Finding a parking space exactly when you need one;
  • The loyal, loving companionship of pets;
  • The contentment of sitting before a roaring fire on winter’s evening.

 Remember to enjoy the things that are truly important!  Have a GREAT Thanksgiving holiday! 

 

Remembering Mom’s “Pearls of Wisdom”

I love May and Mother’s Day!  I love remembering my mom – who passed away some 14 years ago!  I’ll tell you – in my opinion – she was a GREAT woman!

I’ve been thinking back lately on my childhood and remembering all the little random things that my mom taught me.  When we were growing up, mom always had “pearls of wisdom” to share with us.  She hoped her knowledge would help us through life and she provided some rather good advice; some of which was really nothing more – now that I think about it – than common sense, and of course there were those that made no sense at all – but still make me smile!  We all knew better than to run with scissors, but mom never hesitated to remind us.  They were simple things really.

How I do miss her!  My mother’s words – her “words of wisdom” – those witty little quotes that sunk deep into our minds and bubble to the surface at decision-making times, are true gems that I find myself sometimes repeating.  I think maybe these “pearls” are a way that my mother – and perhaps all mothers – are forever at our sides!

These “words of wisdom” still make me shake my head and smile!

  • What if everyone jumped off a bridge?  Would you do it, too?
  • If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!
  • If something is worth doing… it’s worth doing right!
  • Be careful or you’ll put your eye out with that!
  • Don’t put that in your mouth; you don’t know where it’s been!
  • Because I said so… that’s why!
  • Say that again and I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!
  • Put your jacket on or you’ll “catch your death!”
  • Don’t go outside with wet hair or you’ll catch a cold!
  • Eat everything on your plate!  Don’t you know that there are starving children all over the world who would be glad to trade places with you!
  • Close that door!  Are we heating (or air-conditioning) the outside?
  • I have told you so many times not to do that… when the lawn mower cuts off your toes – don’t come running to me!
  • If you’re bored, I can always find something for you to do.
  • No – we can’t afford that… Do you think money grows on trees?
  • Don’t make that face or it’ll freeze in that position!
  • One day you’ll have kids—and I hope they turn out just like you!  (Looking at that now… was that good? Or bad? Hum?)

My mom also said “I love you” each and every day…  not only in words but also in how she took care of us!

Just a thought – outside of the obvious love and affection that you shower on your children –  what “pearls” have you shared with them?  Oh please - do keep sharing!  Know that years after you have gone… when your children are adults – your “gems” will make them smile when they hear themselves repeating them to THEIR children!

Thank you Mom for still making me smile!

How Well Do You “Control” Your Mind and Your Thoughts?

When I was a college student at Ohio State University, I can remember looking for a summer job.  I then had the opportunity to attend a meeting on campus with a representative from the Southwestern Book Company.  Eventually, the representative came to my house, spoke with my mother, and after a discussion, she allowed me to go to Ponca City, Oklahoma (with other students from Ohio State and Michigan State) to sell books door to door for the summer!

It was truly a “life altering” experience for me (although at the time I didn’t realize it)!  The gift it gave me was the gift of positive thinking… as well as the gift of enthusiasm!  I learned that staying enthusiastic took work – but was well worth the effort.  It helped me to learn how to control my thoughts… It helped me to recognize that I could only control the things that were within my power.  Many might say it was “brainwashing” and I guess I am OK with that concept because – ya know – it was a GREAT way of thinking!  Here were some of the things they had us do…

*When you hear that alarm go off – JUMP OUT OF BED!  Go to the mirror and say out loud 10 times… “This is the best day I’ve ever had.  I can – I will – I am going to help 30 people a day live a richer, fuller, more meaningful life.  I can – I will – I am going to become – day by day – the greatest salesperson the Southwestern Company has ever had! 

*We were to read inspirational materials – from authors such as Og Mandino (who is probably still one of my favorite), Norman Vincent Peale, Vince Lombardi, etc. – before you leave for breakfast to knock on that first door!

*On the way to the territory – SING (Note:  Since I had a car… I was assigned to the farmlands of Oklahoma!  I had plenty of singing going on)!  Believe it or not… you can still – today – hear me singing on my way to work…  ”Zippity Do Dah!”

*TALK OUT LOUD.  In between houses – repeat positive phrases.  You see – the thought was – YOU CAN”T TALK POSITIVE AND THINK NEGATIVE AT THE SAME TIME!  We were to say, “This is the best day I have ever had” or I’m not important – but what I accomplish and how I develop myself as an individual IS extremely important.  And the people I have the opportunity to serve are of the utmost importance.”

What made me think of my life some thirty five years ago…  During this past spring break, I found a poster that I had up in the trailer home I stayed in during that summer with the other two girls I lived with… on it it said:  “THINK POSITIVE!  Say to yourself every morning:  Today is going to be a great day!  Things don’t get better by worrying about them!  I can be satisfied if I try to do my best.  There is always something to be happy about!  I’m going to make someone happy today! Life is great – make the most of it!  Be an optimist!”Why am I sharing this?  Think what we will be teaching our children if we live our lives in a positive manner.  Think how we can help our children by giving them a couple of positive statements that they can say over and over again in both good times and bad!  Those statements… thoughts… can help them be “lifted” in times of trouble because – truly – you can’t talk positive and think negatively at the same time!  What a concept to teach our children when they are young! 

Ya know… what a summer it was!  I truly had tons of fun!  Sold a lot of books… but I learned so much more than the “book selling” (and mom probably knew I would!).  I learned how to drive a tractor (remember – I was in the farmlands of Oklahoma)!  How to do some harvesting… painting a barn… how to talk to with different folks, and most importantly – I learned about who I was as a person and who I could be! 

Thanks Mom!

“50 Things That Really Matter”

WOW!   The end of the third quarter is coming… Spring Break right around the corner… how fast it goes!

Most recently with all the warm weather, I took a moment outside as the sun was setting to start a fire in the fire pit – on top of the little hill I have – by my pond. You see – I had been so very busy – “rushing around living” – getting things done – that I was stunned in that moment by the quietness and the beauty before me. I was so very blessed because I was given this moment (of which I took) to sit and appreciate all the “gifts” before me. When was the last time you took some time for yourself?

You know, it is important to stop and appreciate and be thankful for all the gifts you have been given. It is also very important to teach our kids to do the same.

Later on, I came across a book, “50 Things That Really Matter” and started to read it. It started out by saying, “Big homes. Luxury cars. Digital TV’s… These days, we’re surrounded by such symbols of wealth… What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we all can enjoy them; the plain values that define us as “good people;” the emotional connections with friends and family that fills our souls with a sense of purpose.”

It went on to rejoice and speak about some things that truly matter; friends, the smell of a new baby, companionship, old dogs, home, and butterflies, to mention a few. The book got me thinking a bit. What would my list look like? What really matters in my life? What things truly bring great joy to me? What would your list look like?

I want to offer something to you – both moms and dads. Begin a book of your own “50 Things That Really Matter” to YOU! List them. As you list each item, take some time to put your thoughts down regarding that item sharing why it is important to you. As you work on your list and your writings, do it knowing that this true gift of self will eventually be a gift you give to your children. Here’s another thought…

As you may have known, my father died when I was a young child, and my mother died a little over 14 years ago – I cannot even imagine what we – as “adult children” – would have done if we had found such a book from our mom and dad. It would have been the ultimate gift to the family… the true gift of a parent to their child!

So… as Spring Break is upon us – take some time and – BEGIN YOUR BOOK!